Ted Kopolous  interviews Disney's Icarus
by GillyRose
Summary: A quick little interview with Herc's best buddy!


**GNN Greek News Network**

**{News offices in Athens ...Sparta...Cyprus... Atlantis ...{temporarily} **

** Presents Ted Kopolous'es exclusive interview with Disney's Icarus **

**"Icarus Has New Winged Dream"**

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**Interview Transcript:**

**T. _Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Ted Kopolous reporting. We are here tonight to chat with Icarus, the ancient world's legendary aviator whose first attempt to fly, did'nt lack, shall we say, for solar flare... Well...he is at it again ...and he's about to take it to even Greater heights._**

**I._ That's Right_ Baby!...You see, Ted..._.if I may call you Ted_...after some deep probing research and a _heck_ of a lot of mulling and scratching this _really_ annoying cut I got yesterday...I FOUND OUT WHERE I WENT WRONG... OH _YES!_**

**T._ You mean you found the flaw in your original design?_**

**I. You mean the _wings? _oh right... that _too_...but I was talking about my recipe for cream-of-lamb moussaka. Was'nt going good Ted...not good at all...people dropping like flies... bad blood all around...**

**T. _Yes..well...that's nice... but we're here to talk about your flight expertise._**

**I. Huh? **

**T._ The wings? the famous wings your father designed? _**

**I. Oh yes! Dadalous'es _"Masterpiece!"_**

**T. _I don't know if I'd call them that..._**

**I. Well...maybe they _did _need a little fine tuning...but really people make a lot more out of them falling apart than nessessary. The basic idea was good...And I _did _survive.**

**T._ But after your first flight you _**_**did suffer some ill effects...?**_

**I. By flying into the sun? Aw...just knocked some sense into me, Ted...that's all. Oh yes... the red eye is a bit... "off the menu" but it _sure_ is a babe magnet! You can ask my sweet little puff pastry, Cas_-Saaaaa_n-dra.**

**T._ I did. She began to spit at me._**

**I. DOES THAT TO ME TOO, TED...it's just her way, the _sexy_ little devil.**

**T._ OK, well, getting back to that flight... after you crashed the _**_**first time...**_

**I. You know what my bestest buddy Hercules says to me?... that is, when he's not saying**_**"Icarus **_**STOP****_That!"_ {...says it kinda often, too..._.three_ times this morning...} ya know...just between you and me...I think that lad's in a bit of a rut...**

**T_. What does he say?_**

**I. What?**

**T._ Hercules._**

**I. Who?**

**T_. Hercules!_**

**I. Sorry, you just missed him. He and Phil are going out to**-

**T. **_**What does Hercules often say to You!**_

**I. Oh, _Lotsa_ stuff..."_You're not gonna _Eat_ that"..."I don't think that's _Legal_"..."those arrows are gonna _Kill _you"..."hey that's Never gonna fit in there"..."Boy is That gonna hurt"...oh... and "If you fall off a horse- get right back on..."_**

**T. _Did you ever..._**

**I. Did I what? fall off a horse?**

**T. _Ummm..._**

**I. Well first I had to _find_ a horse. _That_ part was hard... the falling off part was easy, though.**

**T. _Look...I'm confused...does Any of this have anything to do with the wings?...Did any of this this help you find a new way to fly?"_**

**I. No, but it stopped Herc from going on about horse falling ...ya know I_ wonder _about him sometimes?"**

**T. OK ...I'm going to have a glass of water and we'll start over again.**

**I. Wanna try my cream-of-lamb moussaka?**

**T**_**. NO!-**_**_ I want to stay on the subject and get to heart of your flight theories..._**

**I**_**. What**_** flight theories?**

**T. _Well ...I... I...umm...I'm assuming ...you have lots of complicated... sophisticated... mathematical ...equations of motion and gravity? involving lift and air speed and thrust...?..that the wings were based on..?... so as to facilitate getting up and staying in the air and all that?..._**

**I. Damn... **

**T. _Um...Ladies and Gentlemen... I think we've found the flaw in the original design. There _were'nt _any flight theories__._**

**!**

**T. _and...you _Don't _spend months and months in painful arduous research?_**

**I. Don't believe in it Ted...not how we operate...**

**T_. But you must go back to the drawing board to improve things...how else will you eventually succeed?_**

**I. Well...after that first Really big crash we_ did_ decide to replace the bee's wax. It could'nt...it did'nt ...well, as Hades might say... it did not possess _"robust applications."_**

**T_. Huh?_**

**I. It was'nt workin' real good.**

**T_. You mean it melted too fast?_**

**I. Yes...well...exactly..._."Melt"_ is kindov a ..."red flag" word in our game...it's our _biggest_ obstacle. We had to find a better bonding agent...Besides...it's VERY hard to get your hands on beeswax. You ever try to milk a bee?**

**T._ Oh, well, no... actually ..._**

**I. *_Very*_ hard on the eyes... _And_ the bee!**

**_T. Actually ...not to get off the subject but... I've always wanted to ask you ...what Were bees doing in a Labyrinthe? how did Dadalous get his hands on a bunch of bees while he was in prison?_**

**I. There... are many strings...to his bow...**

**_T. Huh...?_**

**_I. _Exactly.**

**_T...Yes...yes...well...you know ...I'm getting the feeling I'm not getting anywhere here...{ sigh } What are your plans after graduation?_**

**I. To eat _twice _my weight in popcorn shrimp and survive!**

**T. _No...I meant...in the future...what do you plan to do with your life?...assuming you survive the shrimp?_**

**I. Oh,_ that's all _all taken care of! We graduate**-** I'm going into business with my Dadalous and marrying my sweet hot buttered love puppet, Cass-_Saaaaaaan_-dra. We're going to have _six_ kids!**

**_T. Is_ "Cass-_Saaaaaaan_-dra" _in on this plan?_**

**I. Of _course _she is! she's_ Crazy_ about me!**

**T._ Yes...well, there seems to be ...a general collective opinion around school that your pairing with Cassandra is...somewhat... one-sided. Would you describe your relationship as ...healthy?_**

**I. I guess you could say at the moment...it's in _flux._...has it's ups and downs. But she's coming around slowly, but surely. **

**_T. How do you know?_**

**I. Oh... a guy like _me _can tell certain things about women...the unspoken clues...the long sideways glances...the silences that mean more than words..._Plus_ they just lowered the restraining order to 35 feet. You just_ know_ she wants me!**

**_T. Yes...oh well, you're a shoo- in! Yeah... OK...I guess this concludes our little interview today- and I want to thank you for your time...although I have to say after talking to you I have this feeling I actually know less now than I did 20 minutes ago..._**

**I. You know I get that a _lot?_**

**_T. Yes... I can see why...well thanks again...and good luck on all your future endeavors...you're, uh...gonna need it..._**

**End Transcript**


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